Monday, July 6, 2009
Do women change after marriage?
This topic came about when I was talking to a friend whose sister was about to get married....She did not want to, but had to because of her mom's compulsion...Why do a lot of us resist marriage? If it is just one of the events in our life? If after marriage, we are going to face the same day and night, but with another person why do we hesitate and try to postpone it as much as we can? Is it just a resistance to change? Or is it much more than that? A feeling of inability of having life in our own hands? Does our life change after marriage?
I was sure before i got married that marriage is just a part of life.My life partner would be one who would assist me in attaining my goals and I in turn would help him out in reaching his goals.So from the beginning I have never been afraid of marriage. I thought it was a positive experience. I have not reached a conclusion that marriage isnt a positive experience. But makes me wonder are we- women all the same after marriage?
Some of my old friends who are now married can talk nothing else other than cooking, their husbands , mother in law, father in law and their babies. A woman's life especially in India falls into the hands of not just her husband but also her father in law, mother in law..This does not mean her parents are not controlling her anymore. And she becomes pulled apart by all of them and does nothing she really wants to do.On top of it there are children? Why is there pressure in the society to have children and sacrifice our lives for the child? Is our life not important enough?When a child comes, he or she becomes the priority. The woman though making a lot of money would want to spend the money on or child's crib then her own fancy shoes.
As for me life was definitely not a big bed of roses. I did make small adjustments to live with my husband.And he made a lot more adjustments for me.But in the light of small joys I have seemed to have lost my sight on the "Big goals of my life".I want to plan my career admist family matters.
What is the ultimate solution for this? It is indeed tough for a woman to settle in her career and then get married(They say there is a biological clock - not to forget what the society will say about an unmarried woman at 30)
Is a woman's life just to sacrifice for her husbands and kids? Do we really change after marriage?
posted by saranya @ 1:17 PM
Thanks to saranya mohan .....